20 weeks scan.

 20 weeks already! 

I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going. I am actually now almost 22 weeks. I habe had my 20 week scan and an appointment with the midwive. 

I was put under a new team, where you get allocated one midwive, whom comes to your home for appointment. She is the primary career during pregnancy but there a whole team that I may also see if she is not available incase of emergency. I feel this is so much better as firstly we do not have to keep going up the hospital or into clinics with covid around. We can be comfortable at home. I can get to know and build a relationship with just one main midwive instead of seeing different people and having to explain our gender and circumstance to everyone. It also means I then do not have to keep entering predominantly women spaces, being uncomfortable and dysphoric being a pregnancy man. It also means Ben can be there to as they come to the house and they can see Ariyah and our family's set up. 

Anyways so I had my 20 weeks scan which was a bit annoying due to the fact being covid they were short staffed so the only appointment available was in a different hospital, which is a train away. It was also at 6:30pm which is ariyah bedtime routine. Ben was now allowed to attend this scan but children still were not allowed into clinics.

Thankfully we were able to arrange to stay at a friend's. We all got covid test before to be safe, then went to stay for a few days to make the most of seeing them. Because we were not able to before with lockdown. This friend is very vunerable too. But now things are easing we were able to do this now due to needing the childcare. They were amazing and watched Ariyah, gave her dinner,bath and put her to bed while we were gone. 

The scan was really amazing to see our baby and have Ben there. It makes so much difference. The actually sonography got a bit confused as they could not find my previous scan (12weeks) or notes on the system. So had to get it out my folder to manually put in measurements and due date. Which again they have put to 4th, when midwives has told us the 2nd. I was confused, as was he. I did not know really what he meant by what he was saying about my due date being wrong and how I did not have any notes, or previous scan. But he eventually started the scan anyhow. 

Baby was in a very difficult position, as they have been the whole way through. The baby was breech, with the feet right down low which made it hard for the sonographier to get a clear image or measurements. They were able to check the main things and everything looked fine. Nevertheless they had to book me a rescan to complete it. This is booked for 23 weeks in a week's time. So will update on this too. 

In the scan it was nice to see baby moving at the same time as feeling the movements too. As then I could be like that was the head or arm ect.. we also got confirmation of the sex of the baby which we are still not disclosing yet. Despite baby being in a hard position we got some nice clear views of their face, and nice printed scan photo of the eye. It is crazy to see how detail the scans are and even how much more advanced they are from when we had Ariyah. To see every little bone, their fingers and toes. It is amazing to see this tiny human growing inside you. What a magical scientific thing that is possible. 

The week after was when we first met my actual midwive on the new team. I had spoken to her over the phone but nervous to met her in person. As being trans I thought I would have to explain everything. Nonetheless to our surprise she was amazing, did not question anything. Straight away just knew and referred to me and Ben as dad's. We spoke about Ben's pregnancies with Nico and Ariyah and she was just so understanding. Like it was just everyday. This is what we want, she did not highlight the fact we were dad's, or men who carried our babies. It was just accepted, we were not made to feel different at all. We could not be happier with the midwive we got. 

I will keep updating on appointment, scans and generally how the pregnancy is going. But right now everything is really good. I am feeling great and we cannot wait to met our baby. Ariyah starting to get that there is something going to change, as we speak to her about the baby. Who know what these children can take in. We starting to do the finishing touches to the babies bedroom, as well as generally sort the rest of the house. We will then start to wash the babies clothes and bits to get an idea of anything else we still need. As well as start packing hospital bags. 

(Written at 21 weeks)