Starting the jounery of Carrying
Catch up -
Whether your new to my blogs or been following our journey from the beginning I thought I just back track and give a quick insight to us as a family so far.
Me and Ben are both trans males. Born with female anatomy but identify and are male. We have both had top surgery (breast removed) and been on hormones which is testosterone.
We have been together almost 5 years now and married for 3. It seems longer how crazy. We met on a trans facebook support group and through mutual friends. When we started talking and met, it was very much love at first sight. I know I didn't believe all that at first eirther, but it happened. We very much feel in love, got together and moved in very quickly, by the time we been together a year we were already engaged and had our first flat with two little kittens. When you know it right you know.
We also knew from the beginning that we wanted children, we were both family orientated so we always talked about how we would have children. Fast forward to September 2017. Ben decided to come off testosterone and beginning the plan to get pregnant read the beginning off our journey on our first blog here:
Sadly our first baby became an angel and we didn't get to raise him on earth. We know he is up there guiding us. We got to met him and hold him which was very special, these memories we will hold in our hearts forever. But it was the most hardest heartbreaking thing we ever went through. To say goodbye to our son Nico.
After a long time grieving we did try again and was blessed with a rainbow baby, our little miracle. Who is now a 1 years old, independent, full of life, clever and sassy toddler. She was long waited for, after the loss and a difficult pregnancy. Read her story on our other page with this link:
This time round after Ben carrying and giving us two beautiful babies. I have decided I want to carry and be pregnant. I wanted to have our 3rd baby. I come off hormones in August 2020. Therefore we are now starting the process of tracking cycles, ovulation and conceiving.
How I have been so far
I came of testosterone hormones in August, at first I did not really notice a difference in myself, however others seemed to. Then I started to realise I was a lot more emotional then I thought I would be. Then come october/November I got a bit crazy, to say the least. I was so emotional, my head was a mess and I just felt I was losing control of myself, of the world around me, work, people, Ariyah and Ben, just everything. I cried all the time, as I got so overwhelmed thus working myself up over small things.
Ben has been amazing during this time as he stayed calm, whilst supporting me. Even if he was anxious too. It was all a lot to deal with, and a very hard time for us as a couple and family. Meanwhile we stayed strong and supported each other, as we have been through so much to let anything break us.
Tracking ovulation.
Since stopping testosterone in August, I had my first cycle in October 2020. It was my first one in years but surprisingly was not too bad very light and only three days. After that I started tracking my ovulation with two line strip tests at first, then as the lines got darker, nearing ovulation I tested with clear blue digital tests. I got no dark lines and the digital one just kept at a circle so I kinda thought that it was still to early and I wouldn't ovulate. However 16 days after menstruation I randomly got a solid smily face, which means peak ovulation result.
These test are meant to show 4 or more days of ovulation, when your not ovulating it is a circle. Then if it picks up high fertility there is a flashing smily face. Once it picks up peak LH surge for ovulation there is a soild (still) smily face. This indicates the day of ovulation. This is when to have a donation as well as days leading up when it's flashing.
Anyways so as well as tracking my ovulation. I had a ultrasound scan and some blood tests. The ultrasound come back that I had cysts on my right ovary which could mean I have Pcos (poly cystic ovary syndrome). Doctor's could not be sure if it was with just the scan so my bloods were taken to see my hormone levels. They showed that testosterone was low and that my estradiol and fsh levels were really good. I have them measured at different stages through my cycle and they were all showing that I should have good fertility. This was amazing and meant we could start trying.
I will go through pcos and the different hormones and what they do in my next post so watch out for that one.
November came around when I was meant to be due on. I had lots of cramps, spots, emotional ups and down all the signs I had last month but nothing. It knocked me back thinking my pcos did effect my fertility and that I weren't going to be regular. I thought I miss this month, as we plan to start donations this time round, I was upset. I had not yet got an appointment with our specialist, lucky our friend is a midwive she was checking my blood results and reassuring us.
More then a week later, cycle day 37 I finally had my shark week (trans male terms for period) this time it was horrendous. Heavy with clots and soo painful. It was still only three days long, but just so heavy. Ones it stopped again we tracked ovulation and planned donation days for when we thought it might be with flexibility as these things change. So it was just tracking a waiting now. Bloods still looked good, I was feeling less emotional all the time. So felt positive.
Keep posted and reading for information around pcos, hormones and how it all effects me. Then watch out for our first donation post in a few weeks.
(November 2020)
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